Time flies...

It is so hard to believe Isabella will be 2 in August!!!  I still remember finding out I was pregnant with her.  When I woke Byron up to tell him I can still see the look that was on his face...he smiled like I had never seen before.  I remember feeling her move the first time.  I remember telling my family and friends and how excited they were.  Then I got to hold her.  She took my breath away with each smile and lit my world with her laughs.  She kept me company while Byron deployed when she was just 4 1/2 months old.  Isabella means "God is my oath" and Nicole came from me but it means "victory of the people".

Isabella is beautiful.  Her eyes have my heart.  They are big and brown and they can tell so much about how she is feeling.  She is also such a smart little girl.  She knows the basic 10 colors.  She talks up a storm and learns SO quickly (just like her daddy).  We are working on letters now.  She knows a few and is recognizing words too.  We get complements on her manors pretty often.  She is my observer, quick to watch but slow to talk to people.  She wants to check things out before she decides if it is ok or not.  At home she is quite the opposite.  She runs around, squeals with excitement and climbs on ANYTHING she can reach!  I love this little girl more than I can even tell her.  She melts my heart when she comes running to me saying "snuggle".  She has adjusted so well to having a little sister.  Isabella keeps an eye on Cara.  She is already trying to help her learn to walk and dance.  Isabella also reminds Cara when she is doing something she shouldn't.  I can tell she is quite a leader.  We babysat for friends a week or so ago and when the mom came she held Cara for a minute and Isabella started crying saying "sissy".  She was so worried they were going to take Cara with them.

Then there is Cara.  Finding out we were pregnant with her was so exciting.  I couldn't wait to tell everyone.  My brother and I are very close and I was so excited for my kids to have the same.  I remember telling Terra and Tracy and they jumped up and started crying.  We were so excited to have another blessing from the lord.  I remember looking over names for the perfect on for her.  We found Cara and loved it pronounced as "Car-uh" because it was softer sounding than "Care-uh".  Even though we knew people would question our decision and would forever mess it up, we decided our second little girl would be called Cara Michelle.  Cara means "Beloved" and Michelle (came from a female version of my dad's and brother's middle name Michael) means "Who is like God?".

She has a smile that stops people in their tracks.  She will smile at ANYONE!  She laughs all the time.  Byron and I say all the time that she is such a happy baby.  If you look around, Cara is always crawling around smiling.  She loves playing with Isabella.  She is so friendly and outgoing.  She is snuggly and needy.  She is still such a baby and I am only realizing now just how much I really hurried Isabella through her baby stages.  I am just trying each stage for what it is, a stage.

Our family is doing great!  Byron is doing well in school.  Right now he is at the end of the second of three weeks off.  He is now starting to work on video projects again.  He just started one for Kings Way and soon will be working on one for One Way.  It is amazing to see God use him the way He does!  He is also growing as a father every day.  He is spending more and more time just playing with them.  Nothing compares to how he can make them laugh.  He is great!!

On May 29th we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary.  We got our first evening sitter since moving here and we went out to dinner at a very nice restaurant.  It was wonderful.  I love Byron very much and it was nice to sit and walk down memory lane with him.  We talked about when we first met.  Nikea was house sitting and a bunch of the older youth went to hang out with her and Brandon and Byron came too.  We definitely noticed each other but the time was not right.  Then for the next two years we both liked each other but God was not releasing us to be together so we just tried to move on thinking God was saying we were not meant for each other.  Then January 9, 2005 he asked me to Ring Dance at the Naval Academy and sparks started to fly.  We entered into a courtship with the blessings of our parents and pastors.  April 9, 2005 he knew for sure it was love.  July 29, 2005 we got engaged and May 29, 2006 we were united as husband and wife.  It was an amazing journey.  I am so blessed that the Lord chose him for me.  He is truly my best friend.  I am my most real with him and yet I feel my most safe with him.  I am so blessed to have a love like this!

I am doing well too.  Bible study at the Army chapel has been such a blessing to me.  I needed Godly women in my life who would be positive and encouraging.  I needed people near me who would pray for me, who could tell if something was off with me.  Well, I guess I need to explain something about myself for this to make sense.  I am a private person.  I don't like to tell people about my struggles or downfalls.  I like to just talk about pretty surface things.  "Hey, how are you?"  "I'm good, how are you?"  I get nervous when people start asking about my walk with the Lord.  That comes from pride.  I am too proud to admit I am struggling.  See, even there.  I just started to type trying to justify it.  I wanted to make sure it didn't make me sound like a sinner.  That's something I am still working on.  So, there you go.  I am struggling.  I don't feel like my walk with God is where it could be.  But, even in typing this I see growth and am encouraged.  I know the Lord is placing many people in my life out here in Cali who genuinely care about me.  People who know me well enough to know when I am struggling and will then be praying for me.  I had that in Ohio and in Virginia but once I moved I guess I just felt like coasting and then hiding would work.  It wont and I am glad.  It will be hard to move from here.  I feel so connected.  I mean, I am part of a coupon group, a bible study, a military moms group, a christian moms group, a group of friends in my neighborhood, and a network of many resources out here.  I am blessed to feel like this is home.  It is hard to move and leave everything behind.  It made me feel like I didn't want to put myself out there again and be broken when I have to leave.  But I am now starting to realize just how much personal growth I would have missed out on if I had continued to seclude myself.

All in all, I am growing as a person, as a women, wife, and mother.  I am just trying to make the best decisions I can everyday.  Proverbs 31 is a lot to live up to, but that means there is a lot more I can learn and accomplish throughout the rest of my life!